Does personality figure in sexual attraction?
Yes, but so does your perception of a potential mate’s personality. According to a research conducted by Klohnen, E.C., & S. Luo in 2003 on interpersonal attraction and personality, a person’s sense of self-security and at least the person’s perception of his/her partner were found to be strong determinants of attraction in hypothetical situations. What does this tell us? We prefer a certain personality type, which attracts you to a person. But aside from the actual personality of the person, which can only be verified through close interaction through time, it is your perception of your potential partner that attracts you to him/her, whether the person of your affection truly has that kind of personality or not. This could probably account for a statement commonly heard from men and women on their failed relationships: “I thought he/she was this kind of person.”
So how does attraction figure in relationships?
You have probably heard that attraction is a prelude, or a factor towards a relationship. Most probably, at least in the beginning; but attraction alone cannot make a relationship work. It is that attraction that makes you notice a person from the opposite sex, but once you get to know the person more, attraction is just one consideration. Shared values, dreams, and passions become more significant in long-term relationships.
So should I stop trying to become attractive?
More than trying to become physically attractive, work on all aspects of your health: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Physical attraction is still a precursor. Remember, biology predisposes us to choose the partner with the healthiest genes. Where your emotions are concerned, just ask this to yourself: would you want to spend time with a person who feels insecure about him/herself? Probably not! There is wisdom in knowing yourself: who you are, your beliefs, values, and dreams. And do not pretend to be someone you are not. Fooling another person by making him/her think that you share the same values and beliefs is only going to cause you both disappointments. When you are healthy in all aspects, attractiveness becomes a consequence and not an end. As mentioned in the Klohnen and Luo’s research, a person’s sense of self-security matters, perhaps even beyond attraction. But remember: do these things for yourself and not for other people. Only then can you truly harness your attractiveness as a person.
Anger, Attitude, Challenges, Change, Compassion, Confidence, Courage, Determination, Failure, Fear, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Greatness, Happiness, Health, Hope, Kindness, Knowledge, Leadership, Love, Meaning, Mindfulness, Mistakes, Motivation, Pain, Patience, Peace, Perspective, Possibilities, Regret, Responsibility, Sorrow, Strength, Stress, Success, Weakness, Worry,
- Pumpkin-the Most Sexually Arousing? (socyberty.com)
- The Smell of Love (psychologytoday.com)
- “The Soul Mate Within” iPhone/iPad app now shipping – 10 minutes/day for 21 days to an exciting and meaningful relationship! (prweb.com)
- When it comes to attraction, health is the key (atextbookoflove.wordpress.com)
- The Laws of Attraction (psychologytoday.com)
- The Science of Love: Does Personality Determine Romantic Preferences? (psychologytoday.com)
- The Law of Attraction and the Power of the Subconscious (andersenlifecoaching.wordpress.com)
- The eternal connection between everything; thoughts and that cash money, yo. (thirdquarterprophet.wordpress.com)